Arctic

a film by Joe Penna

Probably a polar survival epic isn’t everybody’s choice to watch on a Saturday night in. But there was nothing exciting on the telly last Saturday. I watched the opening scene and somehow stayed glued to the screen for the next 90 minutes or so.

It’s bleak, it’s slow, it has very little dialogue monologue in it, although at times I wished it had even less of it. To stay alive, Mads “the sexiest man in Denmark” Mikkelsen’s character should have paid more attention to his clothing; the polar bear was too well-fed to be plausibly found in the wild; but all in all, a well-crafted film. Also, a good reminder why I don’t want to live in a place that is covered in snow most of the year, or, come to think about it, any part of the year.

Кавказская пленница, или Новые приключения Шурика

a film by Leonid Gaidai

The subtitle “The New Adventures of Shurik” implies that the “old” adventures of Shurik in Операция «Ы» (1965) somehow precede the events of Кавказская пленница (1967). This is not exactly the case, as Shurik (Aleksandr Demyanenko) is now an ethnography student and has no recollection of previous encounters with the famous trio of Nikulin, Vitsin and Morgunov. It matters not. This film has got almost everything: Gaidai’s signature slapstick; iconic phrases like «Птичку жалко», «Короче, Склифосовский!» and «Бамбарбия киргуду»; Natalya Varley, the new sex symbol of Soviet cinema; and even twist. Our teddy bears do approve.

Planet Earth II

a film by Justin Anderson, Ed Charles, Fredi Devas, Chadden Hunter, Emma Napper and Elizabeth White
presented and narrated by David Attenborough

We first saw a bit of this documentary two years ago while staying in Belgium. I think it was sort of Planet Earth II “greatest hits” for we’ve seen sloth a-swimming, widowbirds a-jumping, bears a-dancing, and, of course, a fox snow-diving. Now, during these Christmas/New Year/Reyes Magos holidays, Timur expressed a wish to watch it. And so we watched all six episodes.

I would not call it “a sequel” but rather “an update” to the fantastic Planet Earth. A stunning update, though. We’ve got a DVD, not a Blu-Ray, and we don’t have a 4K TV, but still, the quality of the picture is astounding.

In this series, we’ve noticed, BBC gets too soft on prey animals (at least, where there is a chance of a viewer developing emotional attachment to them) which, naturally, results in predators staying permanently hungry. And, bar the aforementioned dancing scene, not nearly enough bears — or so our teddies thought.

Historia de un Oso

a film by Gabriel Osorio Vargas

This year’s surprise Oscar winner for Best Animated Short Film, is a beautiful heartwarmingbreakingwarming story. Bear Story, to be precise.

And My See-Through Heart

by Véronique Ovaldé
translated by Adriana Hunter

As strange and poetic as Kick the Animal Out (even the toponyms Camerone and Milena reappear here), but ultimately disappointing. Partly because, intriguing as it is, it does not resolve to my (or anyone’s) satisfaction. Partly because I fail to like its protagonist, Lancelot. After death of his beautiful wife, he discovers that he knew next to nothing about her. And whose fault is that, one may ask. When Lancelot cries out, “For God’s sake, what did she see in me?”, I totally share his bafflement.

Still, Ovaldé’s quirky sense of humour alone makes it a worthy reading.

Your job’s filming bears? No, it’s filming animals in general. Ah ha. The DP called because the last director encountered some difficulties... What sort of difficulties? Lancelot managed (while internally it came out as: but what’s a DP?). The bear came across him one night and the guy got eaten. Eaten eaten? Eaten eaten. Really? The bear ate what he could and buried the rest. For later, she explained. And you’re off to take this guy’s place? Actually (flick of her right hand which sweeps open the stolen robe, revealing a portion of her vinyl corset, an utterly incongruous intrusion at this point), I don’t think he was very careful... I’ve worked with him before... He was the sort who didn’t follow any of the basic safety regulations...

Ёжик в тумане

a film by Yuri Norshtein

Yozhik v tumane is truly the best animation of all time. Still, I was pleasantly surprised to come across the Hedgehog in the Fog theme for Chromium browser.

Обыкновенное чудо

a film by Mark Zakharov

Obyknovennoe Chudo (An Ordinary Miracle) is one of my favourite Russian-language movies of 1970s. Oleg Yankovsky, who, sadly, died today, is playing the Magician in this adaptation of a play by Evgeny Schwartz. However, no magic as such is shown in the film. The miracle of the title is that the Bear (Aleksandr Abdulov), who was transformed seven years before (so we are told) by the Magician into a young man, is not changed back into a bear when he, finally, kisses the Princess (Evgeniya Simonova). A wonderful love story, great actors, beautiful music... (running out of superlatives). The miracle.